I asked for a sales associate to match me to both the Kat Von D concealer and to the foundation. I was so entranced by the glowing internet reviews for these products that I traveled a really considerable distance to get to the nearest Sephora (which is not-so-near to my home). He matched me to the lightest shade of the concealer (Light 16) and the second lightest shade of the foundation (Light 44).
As he spread the concealer under my eyes, I knew that it was clearly wrong, shitty Sephora lighting or no. The Sephora website says that the concealer in Light 16 has a pink undertone, but that is fucking bullshit. It looked like he was spreading yellow paint on my eye. He asked me, "What do you think of that?" and I responded, "Uh, that's clearly the wrong color." "Yeah, it's pretty yellow," he responded. Why Kat Von D is doing her concealers and foundations in different colors is a total mystery to me.
When he put the foundation on, though, it looked much better. I should have known, though, since he said that same fucking thing about it. "What do you think of that?" That's clearly code for, "this isn't working for you, but I'll sell it to you anyways".
I think I even knew when I was there, non-consciously, because I asked to try the lighter color, Light 42, but with my summer tan (I can't put on enough sunscreen to completely stay pale), it was too light.
I took home a sample, but I ended up buying the full size online. In the natural lighting of my bathroom, though, there was no denying it. It was the wrong color. Not only was it too dark, it was too yellow. Apparently unbeknownst to me, my skin has been cotton candy pink.
|Yeah, the packaging is fucking gorgeous.|
So I kept using it. And if this was just a story about buying the wrong shade of foundation, I would still be using it, with some sort of mixer to add in some more pink and white.
But that is not what this is a story about.
At first, it just looked like a breakout. My skin was mad. Maybe it was time to change my pillowcase. Maybe my hormones were doing something wacky. Maybe I'd been touching my face without noticing. Thank god I had this awesome Kat Von D foundation to cover up these encroaching blemished.
But then the breakouts got worse. My whole chin looked like it was covered in tiny Mount Vesuviuses. There was pus. There was redness. I got frantic. Would more exfoliation help? A cleansing mask? A real-life mask that I can just wear on the street so no one looks at me and/or assumes I'm dressed up as Erik from the Phantom of the Opera? I began to use the Kat Von D foundation to cover up my acne and use something lighter on my as-of-yet-un-marred cheeks.
And then it got worse. I basically had a beard of acne. I basically looked like Zach Galifianakis but with pus instead of hair. I stopped taking pictures of myself for this blog. I drug up pictures I had taken in the past and wrote reviews on those products instead.
And then I realized. It was just on my chin and the sides of my face. The area on my cheeks, where I wasn't using Kat Von D? Totally fine.
|Kat Von D Foundation in Light 44|
I can also tell you that I ain't buying that shit again.
If Kat Von D makes your color and you're not affected by the skin-murdering issues that I had (people are affected by different things), this could be a great foundation. It really does have absurdly good coverage. But, for obvious reasons, the downsides by far outweigh the upsides for me.
At $34 for 1 oz, Kat Von D foundation retails for the easy-to-calculate price of $34 per ounce. For comparison, my usual foundation, Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Full Coverage Foundation comes in at $22.35 per ounce.