Thursday, November 21, 2013

Random Sample Grab Bag: Perfume Reviews Part 4

Atelier Cologne Vanille Insensée Cologne Absolue Eau de Parfum. $70 for 1.0 fl oz ($70 per fl oz)


If Atelier Colognes were less pricy, I would probably own every single one of them. Vanilla is an appealing, but simply scent. This interpretation is full of layers, with clear woody, jasmine, and citrus notes. When you smell it, it seems like something enchanted is going to happen.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Morgan Le Fay from the Mists of Avalon.

Bond No. 9 I LOVE NEW YORK Eau de Parfum. $105 for 1.7 fl oz ($61.76 per fl oz)


If I was a grandma, this is what I would want to smell like. It has a zesty, spicy scent that is reminiscent of kitchens full of nutmeg and cloves and libraries full of family albums. It doesn't smell like a conventional grandma smell, per se, but it smells like someone who doesn't care what you think about her wearing gingham every day and who is up to her elbows in homemade desserts.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Granny Next from the Thursday Next series. 

Diptyque Philosykos Eau de Toilette. $88 for 1.7 fl oz ($51.76 per fl oz) 


This smells like plantlife so strongly that I keep imagining that I'm in the garden, weeding. Breaking dandelions apart and rubbing the juices that come out on your hands. Cutting the grass. Sticking your nose in still-green flowers. If you spent a lot of time outdoors as a child, I suspect that you will find that this is a very visceral, memory-filled aroma. It doesn't smell like a perfume that smells like something. It just smells like you're in the garden. With that said, I'm not necessarily sure that the scent is pleasant, per se. It's not the scent of pretty flowers. It's the scent of your hands after you spent the day weeding.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Pomona Sprout from Harry Potter.

Elie Saab Le Parfum Eau de Parfum. $94 for 1.6 fl oz ($58.75 per fl oz)


This is so floral, you'd almost feel like you were in a flower shop, were it not for the slight woodiness.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Titania from a Midsummer Night's Dream.

Escada Cherry in the Air Eau de Toilette. $56 for 1.6 fl oz ($35 per fl oz) 


The gleeful packaging and vernal-reminiscent name led me to believe that this would smell like juicy, fresh-from-the-orchard Bing cherries. It... it doesn't. If marshmallows and Jolly Ranchers had a baby, the baby would smell like this perfume. It's very sweet and the cherry aroma is quite artificial-smelling.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Lottie from Disney's Princess and the Frog.
 
Givenchy Very Irresistible Eau de Toilette. $69 for 1.7 fl oz ($40.59 per fl oz)


This perfume is very delicate. It has a very rose-oriented scent, but it is so soft and light that it doesn't make much of an effect.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Maris Crane from Frasier.

Guerlain La Petite Robe Noire Eau de Toilette. $81 for 1.6 fl oz ($50.63 per fl oz)


If I had to choose recognizable scents to describe this fragarence, I would probably choose cherry and biscotti. However, it smells most strongly like a Christmas ornament store that is located near my childhood home.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Jack Skellington 3/4 of the way through the Nightmare Before Christmas


Jessica McClintock Brilliance. $48 for 1.7 fl oz ($28.24 per fl oz)


This smells like a really old house. If you smell dusty staircases in an overly perfumed manor, it will probably smell like this. Unlike I LOVE NEW YORK, which is sort of the modern, awesome grandma smell, this is a sad, lonely grandma smell.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Mrs. Dubose from To Kill a Mockingbird


Ralph Lauren Polo Black Eau de Toilette (For Dudes). $61 for 2.5 fl oz ($24.40 per fl oz)


To me, the strongest smell in this fragrance is sage. Sage kind of hits you over the head with a reminder that you might consider making a casserole. There also seems to be a bit of pine. Together, these smells remind me of the holidays in the Pacific Northwest.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be a mall Santa. But... he'd be real.

Versace Bright Crystal Eau de Toilette. $69 for 1.7 fl oz ($40.59 fl oz)


This smells a bit like some sort of diet powder that you add to water to make it smell like pink lemonade. Although "citrus" seems like the wrong descriptor, it tingles my nose the same way that a citrus-flavored item might. There are also some floral aspects. In particular, there is a peony odor.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Mrs. George (Amy Poehler's character) from Mean Girls.

15 comments:

  1. I love these perfume review posts, you're hilarious! Especially because the perfume industry is to damn pretentious, these reviews are refreshing.

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    1. I usually find it hard to get a sense of what a perfume actually smells like when I hear is described with flowery prose.

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  2. I thought the same thing about Cherry in the Air at first, but after a while it turned into a much more interesting scent on me. But different things smell different on different people blah blah blah

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    1. I usually keep 'em on for about an hour before I come up with my final opinion. If it changes after that, I probably have no idea about it!

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  3. I loved Mists of Avalon; I read it many years ago. Thanks for that brain tipple. (BTW, I just totally made up that "brain tipple" phrase, but it seems to work...)

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    1. A "Brain Tipple" sounds like a nerdy cocktail to me. ;)

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  4. That Diptyque one really appeals to me. I know exactly that weedy smell you're talking about and I love it.

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    1. It's a very nostalgic scent for me!

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  5. You mentioned Maris (whom we never saw) from Frasier! That is awesome!

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    1. As i read each review, i was literally wondering who all the people/characters you were mentioning were.. until I hit the frasier reference. Awesome! (great show!)

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  6. My goodness, I typically bounce around on your posts and have never gone chronologically - but I saw you attribute a scent to Morgan Le Fay from MoA and I just haaaaaaad to comment and tell you how awesome you were! =D

    (Not that you haven't been awesome before, but that was the random thing that led me to comment!)

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  7. The references in this post made me smile really hard.

    It's always nice to find someone else who enjoys Thursday Next, Harry Potter, Shakespeare, Disney, and Frasier.

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  8. If you are looking for best smelling cologne for men .Here in this website you are going to get it in a cheap price.

    ReplyDelete

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