Friday, February 14, 2014

(Limerick) Review: Benefit High Beam

In honor of Valentine's Day, I decided to unleash my inner poet. Unfortunately, my inner poet isn't exactly Sappho. 

With cheekbones too ill-ly defined
One's face can feel, frankly, resigned
To canvas that's flat
Or cheeks that lean fat
Instead of bones chiseled, refined.

(For the record, I have a mini.)

A contour is always alright
But it calls for a lovely highlight
Quickly, I gulped
And proceeded to sculpt
High Beam made my cheeks bolder and bright.

The pretty, low shimmer of High Beam
Leaves your face with a moonlight-like gleam
A pattern of prosody
In new physiognomy
All of this from a silly old cream?

A color that won't look too "eighties"
Will earn much jealousy from your mateys
The light pink-toned hue
Will come softly through.
(It's perfect for cooler-toned ladies.)

Too bad that damn nail polish bottle
Makes the packaging such a debacle
Drip that crap on your face
It'll look nice in place
Still, I wish my tube had a remodel. 

Another quite sad admonition
Is the product's in liquid condition
Cake it on over powder
Your face will turn sour
But on cream it's a fucking magician.

At twenty-six whole bucks a pop
The cost here seems up near the top
At point four five ounces
The price quickly bounces
To a much more desirable stop.

Benefit's High Beam retails for $57.78 per ounce.


  1. Sappho wouldn't have given us "But on cream it's a fucking magician." I lol'd. Brava!

    1. So... what you're saying is that my poem is better than Sappho? ;)

    2. Alas, Sappho wrote 'most in vain
      Her works burned; only scraplets remain
      So for all we know
      You trump our Sappho
      Especially with swears in your cinquains.

  2. Mateys, eh? I love that you've even talked about the pricing, both as a unit and per ounce, even in limerick.

    1. I couldn't work the actual price per ounce into the poem, sadly.

  3. You're hilarious. Also, have you seen theBalm How Bout Them Apples cheek/lip palette? I'm not usually a blush person but... I want.

    1. I saw it but I tend to not love cheek/lip double use stuff, and I don't like cream palettes, so I'm skipping it. If it was a powder blush palette, I'd be all over it.

  4. This amazing - I think you won the internet!

  5. Sooo so fun! I will keep reading this over and over for the heck of it. You seriously are one of the best beauty bloggers... ever. Wish I could be as cool as you.. LOL! :-)

    1. Ha! I am many things, but "cool" is not necessarily one of them.

  6. I like that you tried something different with this post. :)

    Robyn, please may we have a tutorial for contouring and eyeshadow application? That would be AMAZING.

  7. I would love to know more of your fave liquid highighters. Thanks!

    1. I tend to be a powder highlighter kind of lady, so I don't have a big list of liquid highlighters that I love!

  8. Over powder a failure?
    What a shame!
    In a rush cream products take too long to brush,
    and complexion perfection's the aim!

    But what if one, with dexterous hand,
    were to delicately stipple the glow?
    A delicate push and a dab, to make cheeks look fab,
    without disturbing the powder below?

    1. Even a stipple will not hit a triple
      To give you a heavenly glow
      It'll mix with the powder, form it into chowder
      And turn your routine into woe.

    2. Aka I have problems with it over powder, even with stippling.

    3. Ah drat, that is that, I throw in my hat
      for my particular needs this product falls flat!

  9. I love your poem! Great job. I just ordered High Beam as my Ipsy perk. Looking forward to it now. :)

    1. I got it as well, because who doesn't need an extra bottle?

  10. I like High Beam, too. But you're right about the fingernail polish applicator. My brush has gotten gunked up after having had it a while. At first I thought it was a cute, novel idea for a facial cosmetic. Now, not so much. I figured they were following their Benetint bottle theme. Didn't they have a Moonbeam? What happened to it?

    1. I believe MoonBeam was discontinued.

  11. moon beam still exists as far as i know!! it's much more peachy and warm than high beam and the shimmer it leaves you with is more gold than silvery. i have fair but really yellow/olive skin and moon beam is one of my favorite highlighters!

    1. Sadly, I think it was discontinued!

  12. Love the 'eighties/mateys' combo :-D This was awesome! The other thing I like about High Beam is that I only have it in a sample size bottle, and it lasts ages - same with Benetint!

    1. Yeah, I have the mini as well, and I am in no danger of running out!

  13. I found your blog yesterday and have almost read the whole damn thing. This post is my favorite. Well done.


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