Sunday, February 23, 2014

Review: Covergirl LashBlast Clump Crusher Mascara, Water-Resistant, Black

About a year ago, Clump Crusher was released, with much fanfare. Apparently, the internet unilaterally decided that it was the BEST MASCARA EVER OH MY GOD YOUR LASHES WILL BE LIKE FEMININE, CURVY TREE TRUNKS AHHHHH. Recently, with the ringing endorsement of everyone who has ever been online still rolling around in my head, I decided that maybe I should actually purchase this motherfucker on the off chance that I'd Knights Templar this shit and find the Holy Grail.

Sadly, it was not to be.


The name "Clump Crusher" apparently refers to the mascara's inability to clump. To me, it sounds like the name of a really bad, D-list superhero. The "Green Jello" shade of the tube itself, though, is oddly enticing. It encases a moderately curvy brush.

Overall, I feel that the formula gives not-a-lot of a volume and a medium amount of length, which is pretty typical of relatively dry mascaras (which this is). Thankfully, even the waterproof formula is relatively easy to remove. It's totally adequate, but it's nothing to choreograph an elaborate jig about.

My biggest problem with this mascara is actually something that is kind of my fault. Clump Crusher comes in four colors: 'brown', 'brown-black', 'black', and 'very black'. Retrospectively, I should have purchased 'very black', but I purchased regular old 'black' instead, assuming (silly me) that it would, in fact, be black. Well, it's actually gray. Like, really gray. Like, "the color of a British shorthair kitten" gray. Silver lining: if you're looking for a gray mascara, guess what? I found one for you!


Here's a "before and after" of Clump Crusher.

No Mascara:


Clump Crusher:


One more time!

No mascara:


Clump Crusher:


You can see, it doesn't look terrible or anything. It's just "not terrible or anything" isn't a very high standard for mascara-wearing, in my book.

Luckily, I have found one thing that I really do like it for: If you have any gloopy, gooey, so-wet-they-feel-like-undercooked-brownie-dough mascaras, I find that this works really well underneath them. A few layers of Clump Crusher to separate and add length and then a few layers of miscellaneous oozy-goo mascara to add oomf (I guess I'm just not using real words today) helps prevent spider lashes from the wetter mascara, but gives more drama than Clump Crusher does on its own.

Or, you know, you could just buy a mascara that doesn't need so much help...

Covergirl Clump Crusher retails for $8.99 for 0.44 fl oz, putting it at $20.43 per ounce.

44 comments:

  1. We're going to need a Robyn to English dictionary soon!

    Also, what blush and lipstick are you wearing in these?

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    1. Uh... I want to say it's one of the pink-tinted Fresh Sugar lip treatments on my lips... and I have totally forgotten the blush. This is what happens when you take pictures for a blog post over a month before publishing it...

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  2. What's your favorite drugstore mascara? I'm in the market for one that adds a lot of volume but is relatively cheap.

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    1. I don't actually have a good drugstore favorite right now! Sorry to be unhelpful.

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  3. I had an equally luke warm reaction to clump crusher. I think I actually love my clumps - whatever is clumping must be making my lashes thick and long - like lady tree trunks (love this description - it makes me think of the early Disney cartoon Flowers and Trees!)!

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    1. Ahh! May my lashes continue to be inanimate!

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  4. for reasons i can't explain, i also bought the wrong color of clump crusher--"black-brown", which is, actually, just brown--and had an equally lukewarm reaction. i layer it under my sample of stila's 'forever your curl' and had pretty good results.

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    1. Huh. I wonder what regular old brown is like, then?

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  5. Didn't love this one either. Was wholly unimpressed. And I DID buy "very black," although, I have very dark coloring.

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    1. Yeah, it's okay. Totally what I would have expected if not for all the hype!

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  6. Feminine, curly tree trunks; Knights of Templaring some shit and finding the Holy Grail.

    Nothing, I just wanted to award those their own space.

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  7. Aww that's a shame. I would encourage you to try it in very black at some point. I've found it gives me crazy length, because I can keep layering it and layering it and it just makes my lashes look longer without weighing them down. I am willing to sacrifice a little drama in order to have no clumps at all though, so maybe it's personal preference.

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    1. I don't tend to have a big clumping problem with most of my mascaras, so the premise wasn't super necessary to me!

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  8. I had a similarly underwhelming experience with Clump Crusher, although I got the extra bonus of amazing, horrible, awful burning in my eyes when I got teary eyed while wearing it. It's now referred to in snarling undertones as "the macecara." It was pretty awful.

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    1. Oh no! Did you figure out what ingredient was the culprit?

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  9. I was pretty disappointed in it but really I think my expectations were just too high. I have long but not at all thick lashes that aren't terribly dark and this just made them dark and even thinner looking. Not cool. I'm still in the market for a good mascara but just can't bring myself to buy mascara costing over $15 because I just don't wear makeup that much.

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    1. Mascara searching is hard, since you don't know how it will work until you buy it! Let me know if you find anything spectacular.

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  10. Do you always wear waterproof mascara? I wonder if you'd have different results with the regular version of this. I haven't tried it, but I love CG LashBlast, and the waterproof version is totally different, The waterproof Clump Crusher also seems to get worse reviews/ratings all over the place. But then maybe this just isn't the right style of mascara for what you're looking for - mascara seems to be an even more personal thing than most other types of makeup.

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    1. I wear waterproof sometimes and non-waterproof other times. If I see a good deal, I might give the regular one a shot.

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  11. I missed the internet. I didn't hear this was a HG mascara. I own the yellow tube lash blast and it's perfectly normal and okay, but I missed that the green tube was the spechul magical one. Thank you for saving me from high expectations I didn't even know I should have had.

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    1. All the tube colors I have tried have been exactly that-- perfectly normal and okay.

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  12. I'm starting to think the majority of the omgballz reviews for this mascara are coming from younger girls who haven't tried many other brands yet and are also easily swayed by everyone else's opinion. I've never LOVED a Cover Girl product in my 15 years or so of trying them. Those pitiful Eyeshadow Blast sticks were the last straw for me.

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    1. The Lip Perfections are pretty good...

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  13. I am on the hunt for the perfect drugstore mascara as well. I was never impressed by the Covergirl ones. Have you ever tried Pixi Lash Boost mascara? I got a sample of it one and through it can get clumpy if you aren't careful, I think the volume and length is pretty good.

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    1. I really didn't like that mascara. I thought it did a totally lackluster job at lengthening and it got clumpy way too easily.

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  14. I may be the only person in existence who's looking for a subtle mascara. I have naturally long, thick eyelashes, which is awesome, but I find I need to use a very gentle hand with the mascara or WHOMP PORN STAR LASHES. But if I just skip mascara, I look unfinished and weird. The end result is that I don't wear a lot of mascara, and since it goes bad so fast, I just use whatever samples came in whatever and the whole thing is very frustrating. So whenever I read a review of mascara that says "I dunno, this just didn't seem to do a lot" I'm like YES GIVE IT TO ME!!!

    (on the other hand, the mascara sample I just threw out because it was done? Urban Decay's Big Fatty, which was an abject failure for me but which many others may LOVE. Giant feminine tree trunks indeed.)

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    1. Try Revlon photoready. It gives a narural finnish without actually adding any length or volume

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    2. Do you have one of those dual sided eyebrow/lash comb brushes? Smear a little of whatever mascara you like on the edge of plastic comb side and sweep it through your lashes. I have thick and long lashes with blonde tips, so this basically gives me color and separation and nothing else. For a step up from that, I like to curl my lashes (I find most drugstore scaries don't do much for curl) and a single coat of Maybelline Full n' Soft, which always applies smoothly.

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    3. I have a similar problem as you, well, without the gorgeous natural lashes to go with it. I used to wear mascara all the time, but I just got tired of putting black gunk on my lashes. I only do it now on special occasions and, I, too, rely on those little mascara samples that I keep hoarding for those special moments.

      I keep hearing that castor oil is a good alternative to mascara. I was hoping someone (hint hint hint) might be up for testing this theory out.

      Also, have you tried a cake mascara? Besame makes one, I think. I'm super curious about those and, I figure, you could at least control the amount of product you place on your lashes.

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    4. I love porn star lashes, haha. You're talking to someone with hair down to her butt who wears blue lipstick on a semi-regular basis, so subtlety isn't exactly my jam!

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    5. Well man then you should totally try Urban Decay Big Fatty. I swore at it every single time, but wow, it made lashes as long as my arm and as thick as my finger.*

      *this is hyperbole

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  15. I actually really like this on you! My favorite drugstore mascara is Maybelline's "The Rocket."

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    1. I have heard a lot of talk about that one, but have never tried it!

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  16. I have kind of a hard time getting excited about mascara - maybe I've just had really good luck with the brands I've tried, but they've all been about the same level of 'totally adequate, pretty even'. :-) I like the stuff, certainly, but I've never felt precisely...evangelical about it...

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    1. There are some mascaras I do get excited about, but they are few and far between.

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  17. That is exactly what I use my clump crusher mascara for. I put a few coats on and then top with with something I actually like. My biggest problem with it was actually that the waterproof formula barely held up under a light snowfall... Ridiculous!

    http://mattekat.blogspot.ca/

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    1. Yeah, it's not the most waterproof formula out there, that's for sure!

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  18. Do you have a recommendation for a good, watery formula mascara? I have blonde, normal length eyelashes. I'm happy with my natural volume, but I want a mascara that covers the whole lash. I find that dryer formulas get clumpy easily and don't give the length/definition that I want. I'd love to hear your (anyones!) thoughts

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    1. I got a sample of Eyeko's "Black Magic" mascara through birchbox a month or two ago and it's a SUPER wet formula. I love the way it looks when it dries, but I find that it takes a while to get to that point. I have to be careful when using it that it doesn't come off onto my eyelid...

      The look is really nice though, and if you want a wet forumla then yah, Eyeko is it! :)

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    2. Thank you for the recommendation! Now I apply mascara, wet a q-tip, and then run it over my lashes. When I do this they stick together, so I've become pretty good at separating my lashes with a spoolie. I will definitely check out Eyeko.

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    3. The wetter formulas I have used tend to clump more, so I'm not sure that I have a good recommendation for you! From what you said, though, I'd see if you can get a hold of Clinique's High Impact, even though it's not a wet formula.

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  19. See I love clump crusher water proof as a go to last coat for ANY mascara. I'm never that impressed with it solo but it really helps as a 'top coat' for just about any mascara to break up clumps and give them a little help in the smudge avoiding department.

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  20. I think my love affair for this mascara is that I've ALWAYS had clumping problems with my mascara. I think it's just the way my eyelashes are. Also, my eyelashes are really long and wonderful, but they're practically invisible without mascara. That being said, I would love to add a second mascara to my collection that gives me some POW! thickness. As much as I love Clump Crusher, it really isn't a volumizing formula...which I guess goes in tandem with not producing clumps. I've heard good things about some of Maybelline's?

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