Monday, March 24, 2014

Jezebel's Article on Contouring is Bad, and They Should Feel Bad

I should probably preface this article by saying that I used to read Jezebel, so there is a tiny part of my heart with a slightly mushy spot for them. (Hell, I was a starred commenter back when that was a thing.) However, that mushy spot immediately hardens to stone when they pull some sort of fucking bullshit, which seems to be approximately daily.

Jezebel's article on contouring, entitled "Let's Just Stop With the Contouring Already" by Tracie Morrissey is fucking bullshit and I am going to explain why, point by insipid point. (Note: I did include a link to the original article, but if you want to avoid giving Jezebel pageviews, the entire article is included within this article. All you need to do is read the bolded parts below.) Is it the most bullshit thing that has ever graced the halls of Jezebel? Definitely not. But I am grumpy about it, and I am going to grump in your general direction.

Point #1: "Sure, love is a battlefield, but makeup isn't supposed to look like war paint."

This quote presumably was supposed to be witty, but, in my opinion, things that are witty are supposed to make sense. "Love is a battlefield" does not make sense when talking about makeup. It is not relevant. You need to have some sort of bridge to the topic at hand. Makeup is not love.

Still, the thing I take umbrage at here is that Tracy presumes that there is a way that makeup is "supposed" to look. One of the awesome and amazing things about makeup is that you can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Minor quibble, but I suppose we can move on.

Point #2: Still, women are drawing stripes all over their faces and taking liberties with bronzer in an attempt to create some kind of illusion—but they simply can't escape the cold hard reality that they look like fucking idiots.

Calling women "fucking idiots" is not helpful.

Point #3: I blame Kim Kardashian for this. She's been a real champion of contouring.

Image Source: http://jezebel.com/lets-just-stop-with-the-contouring-already-1547517476

If you think that Kim Kardashian invented contouring, I can only assume that you have literally never looked at celebrity faces.

Contouring is not new.

Do you see that swipe of color under Marilyn Monroe's cheekbone? You do. Don't lie.
Image source: http://www.oassf.com/en/media/images/Marilyn-Monroe-Photo.jpg
If you try to tell me you don't see the contouring on Audrey Hepburn, you need new glasses.
Image Source: http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2013/04/audrey-hepburn-never-thought-i-was-beautiful/_jcr_content/par/cn_contentwell/par-main/cn_blogpost/cn_float_container/cn_image.size.cover-may-2013-audrey-hepburn.jpeg
Obvious contouring is obvious on Elizabeth Taylor.
Image source: http://content7.flixster.com/rtactor/42/22/42225_pro.jpg
If it's good enough for Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman...
Image Source: http://imgur.com/a/GUFMO

So, what is it about Kim Kardashian that is different from the thousands and thousands of contoured faces we have seen for our entire lives?

As far as I can tell, the only difference is that she is open about her process.

Point #4: Her influence can be seen on the mangled faces of several reality TV stars. (From left, Lilly Ghalichi, Melissa Gorga, Nene Leakes.)

Image Source: http://jezebel.com/lets-just-stop-with-the-contouring-already-1547517476
I don't know who these ladies are, since pretty much the only reality TV I watch is Top Chef and infinite re-runs of Flavor of Love, but a quick google search shows that these ladies usually look rather good. Although I understanding the reasoning behind choosing the least flattering pictures available, it really is okay to mess up with your makeup on occasion.

Nene Leakes looking way better that she does in that Jezebel photo.
Source: http://shaystar.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/nene-leakes.jpg

The other day, I tried something new with my foundation and it was not a success. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the dentist and my foundation was melting off my face. That doesn't mean I should never wear foundation again. It just means that on that particular day, I screwed up. Since I'm not a celebrity, no one photographed me, so the only people who know about that particular error are me and my dentist (and now, all of you). When you're a celebrity, though, people see when you screw up. But that doesn't mean it's not okay to make an error or two.

Point #5: Here are two young women having a conversation on Teen Mom 2. They are classmates in makeup school. This is what your aesthetic future looks like, America.

Image Source: http://jezebel.com/lets-just-stop-with-the-contouring-already-1547517476

I literally don't even know why this would be included. Is the point that teenagers sometimes don't do their makeup well? When I was a teenager I wore bright orange foundation, had bushy caterpillar eyebrows, didn't blend my eyeshadow, and drew long, wonky cat eyes with a pencil eyeliner. I am not sure that a teenager with imperfect makeup is really newsworthy, or something that would affect the decisions I make about my own, no-longer-teenage face.

Also, why are you spending your time making fun of the way that teenagers look?

Point #6: But it's not just reality stars who're walking around looking like the cast of Zoobilee Zoo. Professional entertainers, like Nicki Minaj and Julie Chen, pay people to do this to their faces.

Image Source: http://jezebel.com/lets-just-stop-with-the-contouring-already-1547517476
I feel like this one bad contouring day from 2011 is going to follow Nicki Minaj around forever. We get it. It's not flattering. But this is neither representative of Nicki Minaj's usual contouring nor typical contouring that a home makeup-user might do.

Point #7: Here's inverse Hamburglar Adrienne Bailon, striped-nose Aubrey O'Day and reliable disaster area Lindsay Lohan.

Image Source: http://jezebel.com/lets-just-stop-with-the-contouring-already-1547517476
Why is Jezebel choosing random celebrities like Adrienne Bailon, who I haven't thought about since 3LW's self-titled album came out in the year 2000? Because bad contouring isn't an epidemic. Big-name celebrities are still contouring, they just look awesome, so it's essentially ignored.

Beyonce with excellent contouring.
Image source: http://blogdailyherald.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/BEY.jpg
(Also, slightly harsh nose contouring aside, none of these ladies look particularly bad in these photos.)

Point #8: But seriously, you don't need to reconstruct your face with a series of complicated shading and highlighting. It doesn't make you look more beautiful. It only makes you look like a second-rate drag queen. If you are unable to wash your face without recreating the Turin Shroud then you are wearing entirely too much crap on your face.

For every photo you show me with less than flattering contouring...

It's okay that this doesn't look perfect, by the way. I am pretty sure Lilo had more important things to think about that day.
Image Source: http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/lindsay_lohan_courthouse_03_wenn5742060.jpg

...I can show you a million regular, non-celebrities whose contouring looks like this:

Messy Wands in Chanel Notorious
Image source: http://www.messywands.com/2012/09/chanel-notorious-blush-worn.html
BNSquash with a blue contour
Image source: http://imgur.com/a/nlZDi

Checkmate1234 in Too Faced bronzer
Image Source: http://imgur.com/a3123hs
Just as the existence of unflattering bright eyeshadow...

Image source: http://bobbyfinstock.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/mimi.jpg
...doesn't mean we should discount the truly amazing bright eyeshadow that also exists.

By LinsdayEatsBrains
Image Source: http://instagram.com/p/kpQDlMRRCM/
Makeup is a learning process and you have to be forgiving of mistakes that people are inevitably going to make along the way. No one contours perfectly the first time. The way to deal with this isn't to say, "Never try." After all, the world won't have that perfect Beyonce contour if no one learns how to create it in the first place.

83 comments:

  1. A lot of these are examples of why you might want to apply your makeup with lighting conditions you're likely to be in (including flash photography) in mind. Brings to mind cases where you might wear a physical sunscreen that makes you look like you're wearing a mask in bright daylight, or a highlighter under your foundation that causes reflection that's more extreme than you counted on. See all of point #7 and many of the rest. I can see a lot of these looking flawless in regular lighting.

    I'm incredibly impressed that these women get their makeup to look great under the extreme conditions that they're subject to (hot/bright studio lights, flash photography, high definition photography...) often enough that it's notable when it goes even a little bit wrong. I was just commenting today that I'm worried every time I go out in natural light that I look ridiculous because I don't have any way to test it out indoors at the moment.

    I feel a bit like... if they don't want these women to go to such great lengths to attempt to be beyond all scrutiny that they should probably try to scrutinize those same women less harshly? Honestly, I have an extension that blocks Jezebel links from my search results because that site isn't healthy for my blood pressure.

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    1. Unfortunately, we seem to live in a society where women (and men) are expected to look absolutely perfect every day AND look like they haven't had to put a single thought towards it. If you don't succeed the latter, you're "giving in to the stereotype" and "what's wrong with women" and apparently "a second rate drag queen" but if you don't look perfect you're "a special snowflake who thinks they're better than other women" a "slob" etc etc.. it's unfortunate.

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    2. Well, and how bigoted and transphobic and drag queen-hating is that? To police anyone's gender expression or fashion by using "drag queen" or "second rate drag queen" as an insult. So frigging anti-feminist it hurts.

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    3. There's that one photo of Nicole Kidman that gets dragged out every so often where she has serious flashback, and people always hop on that, even though I'm sure her makeup looked awesome in real life. It's just one tiny mistake to use the wrong powder...

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  2. Yeah, I find Jezebel hit or miss, leaning more on the miss side these days. It used to be the main place to get my woman-centric news, but I've discovered a few other sites less prone to random, stupid articles and click-bait. It seems like they're taking on more and more amateur/blog writers, who don't do their research and randomly get their panties in a bunch over random things (like contouring). I definitely agree with Candice's last point: women have enough problems with being judged for how they look. They sure as hell don't need a so-called feminist website mocking them too.

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    1. Tracie has been there for ages, though. She doesn't even have being a new writer as an excuse!

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  3. I think people like Nicki Minaj who are also performing at these events are wearing stage makeup. It's not supposed to look good up close.

    Also the idea that people who work as cosmetologists, especially people still in beauty school, would necessarily do exactly what they do on their own face to their clients. They do these things not only because they are still learning but also because they have the resources to play around with extremes and a workplace that is OK with it. I would never get a haircut again if I thought a hairdresser could only make my hair look like theirs.

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    1. Yep. For stage, you don't want a blended, subtle look. You need lots of bold contrasts so that it looks like a normal face instead of a blur from hundreds of feet away.

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    2. I actually was originally going to write about stage makeup with the Nicki Minaj picture, but I looked up the context of the picture and it wasn't a performance situation... I think it was just a mistake. But dang, just one mistake. Nicki Minaj looks perfect 99.99% of the time. That's a lot better than me!

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  4. As an MUA, Kim K is definitely 'responsible' for the current trend of non-celebs wearing it - those pictures that went round with the stripes made everyone go nuts for it! Personally it kind of drives me bonkers being asked for a 'Kim K' all the time - it's a lot of makeup, not everyone 'needs' it, and for everyday life, even fancy-pants everyday life, it can be kind of unnecessary When I tell someone they don't 'need' it though, it'll be because they don't need to sculpt that much to bring thier features out, or because I know they'll balk when they see how much makeup it actually involves because they don't wear much normally, not because I have an aversion to the style. As another reader just said, it's almost like stage makeup and sometimes that doesn't translate well in real life, so sometimes I have to kind of do expectation managemnet on the contouring front and find a level that works for whatever it is they've come to me for. That said, it can look cool as shit, and if you want to do it, go for it - it's your face y'all. Calling women 'fucking idiots' isn't going to make them apply thier makeup to your standards. Bullshit article is bullshit - you don't have to like it, but don't be a prick.

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    1. Oh, I definitely agree that Kim Kardashian introduced a whole hell of a lot of people to contouring! But she sure didn't invent it, especially for female celebrities.

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  5. Great piece.
    We've got a magazine here as do the worst reports on makeup, telling ladies not to wear shimmer eyeshadow ever, to contour using a bronzer, that wearing falsies REALLY damages your lashes (it was a very bad copy and paste job and they probably used google translate, because you had to know about falsies to understand they were talking about eyelash extensions), and lots of of other eamples, that I can't really think of.
    Amanda really makes a good point, as stage makeup and close-up makeup isn't the same. You need to exaggerate certain things more than you would for, say, a party.
    If you didn't make any mistakes with your makeup throughout your teen years, that's probably because you weren't wearing any.

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    1. I hardly wore any makeup as a teen and I made a whole hell of a lot of mistakes!

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  6. To me contouring (even when done "right" - Messy Wands, etc) looks like a stripe painted onto an otherwise beautiful face. It doesn't look like cheekbones unless I'm trying to force it to look like a cheekbone optical illusion. I get (and appreciate) when it's done for a photo shoot or in a movie, when tons of makeup meant to look excessive for theatrical effect is completely expected, like on Wonder Woman, but in real life and on the average face, it seriously looks terrible to me. Dark brown nostril sides with a powdery white bridge simply doesn't look like a high thin nose in any but the most filtered image. I feel like there's a little bit of familiarity blindness in the cosmetic wearing community where people are gradually unable to look at things with an objective eye. I look at contouring on coworkers and it's just so... "oh honey no" and I think of what they'll think of pictures of themselves when this trend fades.

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    1. Even if you don't like how contouring is frequently done now, I fundamentally disagree that contouring is a trend. Do you feel similarly when you look at pictures of Marilyn Monroe, where she has obviously been contoured?

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  7. You know, I kind of balked at the "second rate drag queen" comment. I found it really, really rude. Drag is an art form, and a complicated, gutsy, one at that. To dismiss an entire group of hard working, ballsy entertainers and use them as an insult is super shitty. I'm sure the author just made that comment off the cuff and didn't think about what she was really saying, but I'm still a little pissed.

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    1. It's more than that, the "you look like a drag queen" is also used to dismiss and ridicule women for looking to costume-y and masculine, and basically upholds this standard that if you look like a "drag queen" you don't look like a woman because you're too masculine and therefor ugly. It's awful and insulting to women and the drag community and people need to really stop with it.

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    2. It's misogyny, now with added transmisogyny for extra fury!

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    3. I definitely agree! Thank you guys for articulating this so clearly.

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  8. I really dislike that article, because it's telling people they're being female wrong. Can someone tell me what's wrong with a feminist site telling other women they're being female wrong? Putting down popular things that women do, because you think they're silly, is not actually feminist. It's kind of the opposite. Oh Jezebel, there was a time when you were actually a good site.

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    1. Hear, hear! Isn't feminism about empowering women to be WHOMEVER THE HECK THEY WANT?!?!

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    2. Yeah, it definitely does not fit with their supposed purpose.

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  9. Meh, Jezebele is entitled to their opinion, mine is they can suck it. I contour every single day. I will say this however if they are going to show bad contour jobs find photos of celebs that are NOT done up for stage lights to use as a comparison.

    Stage make up is always heavy and garish up close, it HAS to be or it doesn't translate to the audience and the person under the lights looks washed out and ill.

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    1. For Nicki Minaj specifically, that actually wasn't stage makeup. I don't really know why that ended up like that. But I sure am not perfect and no one else needs to be perfect either.

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  10. I kind of agree that the contouring thing is going in a little far in that it seems like internet guru types are suggesting that everyone needs to do it all the time in order to "fix" their faces (i.e. make them look uniform). And Pinterest is kind of oversaturated with it. Not everyone needs/wants a narrower nose, more pronounced cheekbones, etc. And it's a lot of work to add to your day, if you're convinced that you're going to look bad without it. Like we need any more pressure to look like celebrities. If you enjoy doing it, there's nothing wrong with it, of course (I do some on occasion myself).

    But Jezebel is such bullshit, and none of these are good arguments against contouring. (Also: another former Jezzie? Should have known. We're everywhere . . . . *ominous music*.)

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    1. If Jezebel wants to be the young woman's feminist resource, they should find something else to talk about, and leave the makeup snark to experts. Like me.

      Because mostly, I agree with the contouring criticism. It's true that contouring developed for use on stage, on film, and in photography. It made Marlene Dietrich into a star. But once you go three-dimensional-in-daylight, you're really not fooling anyone.

      I think the problem lies with YouTube gurus contouring up a storm and convincing everyone that they should, too. Let's face it, they're wearing a version of stage makeup.

      Another problem is using bronzer to contour. If it has any shimmer in it, or if it's too orangey-bronze, it doesn't look like shadows; it looks like you painted two lambchops onto your face.

      So anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest, am I enough of a feminist to get a job at Jezebel? Jezebel! Call me.

      BTW, I have an angular face and if I contoured at all, it would be reverse-contouring to try to make my cheekbones/browbones look less prominent. (Aha! That's it! Highlighter under the cheekbones! Off to buy eleventy-squillion highlighters and make a YouTube tutorial ... can YT stardom be far behind???)

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    2. I definitely agree that "bronzer as contour" is one the big reasons that a lot of contours don't look natural. Cool-toned contours, though, will always have a place on my face.

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  11. Another excellent article, as always! I love your feminist rants. And of course I have to ask what your Jezebel username was. I'm curious if we ran into each other back when that site had decent content and was helping teach me about women's issues. Not to mention giving me advice from stoned people.

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  12. Ugh Jezebel. To be fair I do think there has been a trend of "extreme" contouring lately that I'm *personally* not a fan of, and Kim K. is sort of the poster child for that, but it doesn't even matter because other people can do whatever the fuck they want with their faces and that article is offensive.

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    1. I like Kim Kardashian's contouring. I think it's fabulous. It's more than I would wear every day, personally, but I still like it!

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  13. I wish Jezebel had any sort of editorial "think twice" policy instead of a "pump out content so the ads don't get stale" policy. I don't understand how misogynist (and yeah, that drag queen insult, seriously?) manufactured pieces like this are supposed to fit into their alleged mission statement/market vertical. But then that's why I also stopped reading them years ago.

    Anyway, I was taught to contour in the 80s when my mom took me to Merle Norman for my official Learn To Wear Makeup makeover. It's not new, and it's certainly not new to stage/camera makeup.

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    1. I love 1980s contouring! So fun and dramatic in a different way than contouring is dramatic now.

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  14. Slow clap for you, dear. That whole article was just a goddamn train wreck. Thank you for your general loveliness and snark.
    I wish I could like Jezebel more, but it's shit like this that just annoys the crap out of me- seriously, do they not think before they post stuff?

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    1. Yeah, I wish Jezebel was what I wanted it to be as well. But, alas...

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  15. As a 50 yr. old woman, I remember the days when Seventeen magazine had me contouring my cheeks like a crazy teen back in the late 70's. I used a brown, Max Factor blush, and sucked in my cheeks on my round face a lot, LOL. Not until I saw myself in some amateur modeling shots did I stop my attempts at the hideous brown "striping." (And yes, it looked like brown stripes, and I looked foolish.) My point is this- accentuate what you naturally have and don't listen to media and cosmetics companies. Be your own ideal self.

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    1. Haha I wish cosmetics companies would try to sell me a contour! It's darn hard to find a good one for my skin tone.

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  16. YOU - ARE - AWESOME!
    xo from Germany (:

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  17. Dude, the original article was SO misogynistic. Fuck Jezebel.

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    1. Yup. Thanks for reading my rant, haha.

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  18. Love your post! That original article was awful.

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  19. Word. Perfect example of one of the reasons I stopped reading Jezebel.

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    1. Glad I got off the trainwreck when I did! I left when Kinja was unveiled, but I should have left earlier, since I recognized the problems before that.

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  20. I often get tempted to read Jezebel again, and then I go, and remember why I stopped. and have to go and have a cup of tea while I calm down again. This is an awesome dissection of a terrible article.

    But inflammatory titles get pageviews, so the Jezebels of the world pick something popular and then pointlessly shit on it so that people will flock to their site. *sigh*

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    1. Every so often they have a great article, but I just wait until someone shows them to me!

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  21. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion but the writer of this article did a HORRIBLE job of defending themself. Most of these women are on TV all the time so they might feel compelled to put more makeup on than usual, but jeeze no need to tear them apart. I'm not a huge fan of contouring either but I'm not going to troll the internet and make fun of people who do to make myself feel better.

    Side note: I'm glad I'm not the only one who watches Flavor of Love re-runs.

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    1. I miss those terrible VH1 shows.

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    2. Flavor of Love > Rock of Love any day, though I really really liked for the Love of Money spin offs!

      I think the VH1 Celebreality shows died when they were working on Megan Wants a Millionaire and that one contestant chopped up his girlfriend.

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  22. Jezebel really needs to slow down on the whole "here are messed up things women do..." sorts of articles if they want to be "feminist." I think recent articles have included how too many women take selfies with their elbows sticking out (and this is wrong apparently), or use contour make-up (also wrong, apparently), or care too much or too little about thier kids (written by women w/o children, invariably). Jezebel is just tiresome and clueless most of the time, sadly.

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    1. Huh. I can't find the selfie elbow one!

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    2. My bad on the chicken wing posting : http://www.allure.com/beauty-trends/blogs/daily-beauty-reporter/2012/04/its-time-to-stop-posing-like-c.html

      Allure, which at least doesn't pretend to be a feminist publication. Such bullshit and frankly a reasonable mistake on my part that Jezebel would run something like this.

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    3. oh my god, I saw that because YAHOO promoted it on their home news feed. Like, really Yahoo? I know I can't expect much from you, but..

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  23. Jezebel lost me a long time ago with s*** like this.

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  24. I am actually completely confused by contouring, and have never tried it because I'm afraid I will look like I have stripes on my face. I don't know how to use bronzed either though. So an article about how or why not to use it would have been interesting to me, but the jezebel one just seems... Useless at best.

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    1. I keep promising to make a contouring tutorial. It will happen one day!

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  25. Wow, that original article is so full of fail. "Second rate drag queen" was particularly cringe-inducing. And the utter lack of comprehension of the difference between performance makeup (stage, drag, TV, film, photo shoot) and what their readers might be doing pretty much disqualifies a person from speaking about makeup with any sort of authority in my book.

    My drugstore-price contour of choice is the powder in the ELF brow kit (which I actually really like as a brow product). It is too dark alone, but a tiny bit on my not-cleaned-off powder brush seems to be just right for my slightly darker and definitely warmer than yours face.

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    1. Interesting! I've never thought to try a brow product. I actually got a new indie brand contour powder in the mail today that will hopefully be lovely!

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  26. Jezebel is awful now, supposing it ever had any value, and Tracie Eagan Morrissey has never been known for her tact or judgment or sensitivity. I hope she reads your rebuttal.

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  27. Thank you so much for:
    a) Tearing this stupid article apart
    b) posting the text so I didn't have to actually click over to the site
    How can a website that claims to be feminist use up an entire article tearing down women, their appearances, and their choices?

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  28. Wow, they're taking on makeup! This is just so edgy and against the grain. I bet they'll end the article with someone holding up a handwritten sign telling me I'm beautiful just the way I am. Unless the way I am includes painting my face, in which case I'm a brainwashed victim of consumerist society.

    The original article reminds me a bit of the Lena Dunham Vogue thing. It's not a critique or a dissection, just mean spirited restroom bitching about how so and so 'so totally fakes her cheekbones'.

    Thanks for the rebuttal. Does this count as a beauty bullshit post?

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    1. Hah! A different kind of one, maybe.

      Also, that Lena Dunham shit was some serious asshole-ery.

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  29. Obviously contouring has been around as long as makeup and photography have been married, however I do agree with the article that there is a contouring craze going on right now- jezebel just really went about writing it in a not so great way. Kim K is who started this Instagram/YouTube love affair w contouring but Kim K is in front of 10000 flashbulbs a day and she has the best glam squad in the game working on her face so she is usually on point. The everyday woman going to the dentist or picking up the kids or going to work, does not need full on movie star, I am going to be photographed contouring. Especially if she does not do it well, it can look really bad. For everyday, try highlighting instead of contouring- it's more subtle and also creates dimension, also I feel it's a little more youthful-heavy contouring can age you.

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    1. I definitely don't think the everyday woman needs to be anything! I just happen to like contouring and so I wear it to the dentist because I want to!

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  30. Also, I've never read jezebel so I have no idea what they're about but do not call women idiots! I don't think very woman needs heavy contouring every time they apply makeup however I am all for woman (and men) doing whatever the hell they want to with their faces if it makes them happy! There are no makeup police in this town.

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    1. I am done some serious language purging in the past couple of years and "idiot", "stupid", "crazy" and all that are (hopefully, by now) out! So I try to call no one an idiot, let alone women as a group.

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  31. I'm dying to know what the new thing you did with your foundation was!

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    1. I switched sunscreens! I am trying to stick to a physical sunscreen this year and it's really tricky to do a sufficient amount of a thick, white-cast physical sunscreen under a full coverage foundation. My chemical sunscreens are easy, but there is no way in hell that I'm re-applying my sunscreen and makeup throughout the day.

      I am still working on a technique to make the new sunscreen work, but that day was really bad.

      Delete
  32. *Slow Claps* I agree with you so much! Sure, contouring has become VERY popular in the last year or two because now the information is open to the public, sure it doesn't always look good but that's beside the point. It's ridiculous that Jezebel writers say that you can't look a certain way because they don't approve of it, especially since most feminist streams want to stop the patriarchy from doing that exact same thing to women every day. Stop telling people it's 'wrong' to want to look a certain way, let everyone do their thing and discover what they like at their own pace!

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    1. It's like showing pictures of smeared lipstick and going on a rant about how lip products make you look terrible, haha.

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  33. As someone who is totally over Jezebel's bullshittery, I love you for this entire post.

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  34. They lost me at 'fucking idiots.'

    Can we please have feminism without tearing other women down naow?

    As always, you are brill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! (And we definitely can. Jezebel is just not invited.)

      Delete
  35. You are spot on as usual and I love you and every comment I read (I didn't read every single one so if there are negative ones..not those ones. :P )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So far, no big grumps in the comments. ;)

      Delete
  36. Point #1: "Sure, love is a battlefield, but makeup isn't supposed to look like war paint." I kinda like that. Extend those metaphors. I suppose the implication is that makeup's primary function is to boost one's chance for romance but I can live with that. Plus, it made me think of Pat Benatar.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know. As someone who doesn't wear makeup for reasons having anything to do with love, you gotta build that bridge in the metaphor for me.

      Delete
    2. Dammit, now I have that song in my head. Why did I read the comment section of this post?! Comments always end in suffering.

      ...we are young! Heartache to heartache we stand...

      Delete

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