Sunday, July 13, 2014

Julep July 2014 Review

Last month, Julep ran out of box upgrades. This month, I overcompensated by rushing to upgrade without any regard for whether or not I actually wanted the shit in the upgrade at all.

As always, I upgraded with points and would not have paid for the upgrade if I had to spend cold, hard cash that could be otherwise allocated to aquarium supplies, ice cream, or lipstick.

Julep has been taking a crapload longer to ship than it used to. I used to get it either a couple days before the new month and this box anti-climactically showed up in the middle of the month, just like all my other subscription boxes.

Here was my box:

The bonus item this month was a duo of Tootsie Rolls decked out in patriotic colors, which was suitably inoffensive. The childhood Trick-or-Treater in me secretly wishes they were the fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls, though.

As always, nine polishes. I had to remind myself of the "theme" because the set is pretty eclectic (apparently it's "the Poolside Collection")

The polishes were as follows:

Lorenzana (Boho Glam): I'm pretty sure this is the official "We have run out of names for our polishes" sign from Julep that we've all been waiting for. I only know the name Lorenzana because there was the lady in 2010 who tried to sue Citibank, saying they fired her for being too sexy… but that was her last name. (If you're looking for names, Julep, there's still no 'Robyn'! Hint, hint.) Anyways, this Citibank-appropriate nail polish is being described by Julep as a "Shiitake" despite looking nothing like a mushroom. I'd call it a light, gray-leaning taupe.

Linden (It Girl): This is a smoky-looking bluebird shade.

Vicki (Classic With a Twist): This is an electric flamingo pink.

Braiden (It Girl): This is a dark gray filled with silver glitter.

Beverly (Bombshell): This is the color of blackberry pie filling.

Tamara (Boho Glam): This is a fiery red-orange.

Kelsey (Classic With a Twist): This is the color of peach yogurt. Alternatively, it is also the color of that lipstick that you get and go, "What the hell? I'm never going to wear this."

Lissa (Bombshell): This is a lovely, classic turquoise.

Dawn (It Girl): Is "neon mustard" a color?

Here's Lissa on my nails:

In addition to the polishes, which I actually rather liked, I also got a bunch of other random crap that I should have realized in advance that I would not be interested in.

The first was the biggest problem. I'm pretty accepting of ingredients for most beauty products. One of the few I really try to stay away from, though, is polyethylene (microbeads). I've written about polyethylene as a problem in the past here. Julep likes to bill itself as being a really responsible company, so I'm very surprised that they would choose to add microbeads to a scrub while many states are concurrently taking action to ban the ingredient for environmental reasons. I didn't even open the bottle.

Julep's Body Milk, identically packaged, is very neutral smelling. It just smells like lotion.

The Mint Condition Pedi Cream smells like toothpaste and feels like regular lotion. It does have glycolic acid listed as an ingredient, but it's not clear how much there is. My boyfriend has been using it on his very troubled feet.

Overall, my box was adequate. I should have skipped the super fancy upgrade and gone with a pure nail polish box instead, as the incredibly "meh" body products were hardly unpredictable.

If you want join Julep, you are always welcome to use my referral link by clicking here. The code "FREEBOX" will get you… a free box. It's self-explanatory, really.


  1. They don't have an "Abie" polish either. They have an Abbie, but that's just too many b's for me!

  2. They definitely don't have a "Hollie" polish either. Furthermore, I was more than disappointed with the random assortment of boring colors associated with their so-called Poolside collection.

  3. Your entirely justified reservations about the polyethylene beads make me wonder: what does one do with such a product when one does not want it? You can't give it away in all good conscience, because presumably someone will use it and the polyethylene beads will do their beady thing to the waterways anyway. You can't throw it out, because then the polyethylene beads and the plastic tube are still going to go into landfill. Do you squeeze out all the product, rinse the goo away from the beads and collect them, then submit all the plastic components to the recycling centre (assuming they're recyclable)?

    Once you go down that mental rabbit hole, it suddenly seems like you've got nuclear waste on your hands, heh :-P Either that or I'm fabulously overcomplicating things, which is absolutely a possibility.

    Also, as a random aside: I did hear that the new Clinique serum in the silver pump bottle claims to dynamically 'sense' when your skin needs repair or some such. I haven't read the fine print myself, but I did catch a distinct whiff of beauty bullshit...

    1. I second the request for a Beauty Bullshit on the Clinique serum!

    2. I've been wondering the same thing about the microbeads. I bought a tube of face cleanser before I knew about the environmental hazards, and now it's just sitting in my medicine cabinet because I'm too afraid to throw it out. I'm definitely NEVER going to buy products with them ever again.

      Any guidance on this would be greatly appreciated.

    3. They're starting to develop and use beads that dissolve, so if you really like them or want to use something up check what they're made of. It might not be an environmental disaster!

    4. If you were feeling dedicated, and depending on the size of the beads, you might try straining the facewash through some muslin or other fine cloth to sieve the beads out (after which you can just use the collected, strained goo as a non-exfoliating cleanser). It will probably be pretty messy, but what have you got to lose, right? It would make an interesting experiment!

  4. You know, just a thought...since apparently your blog referrals are funding your Julep upgrades, Ipsy bonuses, etc.--what about doing a giveaway for your blog readers? Not intended to be snarky, but just an idea!

  5. This was actually the first month I skipped since I signed up last December (right before they made changes to skipping - that was a stroke of luck). The only color I'm even remotely interested in is Braiden, but I'm sure I can get it for $4.99 or something later on. If I even need it. It looks a lot like Zoya London, which I already have.

  6. Are you planning on selling that body scrub if you won't use it? :] Let me know!

  7. Love your reviews! I think I remember Julep commenting on their FB page that the beads were not polyethelyne but were rather the natural biodegradeable version of shells or sugar or whatever and that the polyethylene was involved in a other way in the formula. I could be making this up, totally possible lol but I'm having a julep memory of reading that. I skipped last month so I have not felt the body milk to confirm the bead makeup or texture :)

  8. Dangit. I had the full set of polish upgrade successfully selected this morning, decided I didn't actually want ALL of them and scaled back to It Girl with add-ons, and during that brief period of time they ran out of the bright blue which I had wanted to add on (and thus all the full set options were also designated sold out). So I can at least verify that selling out of upgrades happens when there is a single shade that sells out...


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